Goodbye, Quan Yin

Goodbye, Quan Yin

In about an hour, my bedroom furniture is going to leave my apartment. I feel sad about that. Boxing up the drapes that I spent time picking out. Taking down the framed photos that I shot on vacation. Unplugging the lamps that shone on me as I cultivated my meditation practice. All of these things that I’ve assigned some meaning to are about to leave. And I’ll never see them again. It makes me feel especially nostalgic for my old house in Lewisville. Where all of these things came into my life. A place I left, happily, a year ago.

Pretty things…pretty things. I already gave most of my shrine to my spiritual consigliere. The jeweled box where I stored my mala. The candles and sage. I’ve kept the singing bowels, the mala and my little Lakshmi statue. She reminds me to be grateful. She reminds me that abundance has always flowed through me and that I don’t have to cling to any of it. That it’s okay to let go. More is on its way.

I gave all of the artwork that decorated my home to my girlfriends. I specifically chose a woman for each piece. A woman that I thought would appreciate those prints as much as I do. I wanted those pieces to be loved. As if they were dogs I was finding a new home for. (We’re taking the dog). It’s so weird to me how we anthropomorphize things. Why do we do that? Oh, well.  I hope those inanimate objects are happy.

My mindfulness practice comes in especially handy in these moments when my heart threatens to break because I’m about to give away a photo of a Quan Yin statue I took at the Amitabha Stupa last year on my 40th birthday. Someone stole that statue. I feel my heart. The gentle sadness there. And at the same time, because I’m not allowing the emotion to take over, my brain is still in the game. “Just make another, smaller print of that picture that you can put on the boat. Yes, the statue is gone, but you still have the .jpg on your computer!” Then, I smile. Then, I can shake my head and go back to work and still honor that little sad place. And know that it’s okay to let go.

More is on its way.